Aunkita 🔺

Today I competed in my first ever jiujutsu competition. For many of you who dont know I went there injured. My lower back has been messed up for the last 3 weeks, but I still showed up. I’ve been training for 6 months, so I signed up for the Novice No-Gi division in my weight class. First match -I won by submission. Felt amazing. Second match - I lost to a girl who’s been training in Gi for 3 years but only 5 months in No-Gi, so her coach threw her into novice. Basically… she sandbagged her way to gold. Whatever. I won silver, but I’m not happy. Not because I didn’t win gold but because I know I could have. My body gave up before my mind did. My back was screaming at me after the first match, but I pushed anyway. And now I can barely walk. I’m in pain - physically, emotionally, mentally. But here’s the thing most people won’t understand: I didn’t go there just to win. I went there for the experience. I went there to test myself. To see how far I can push even when I’m injured, scared, and unsure. And what I learned today is something I could’ve never learned sitting at home protecting my comfort - That sometimes winning silver with pain teaches you more than winning gold in comfort. So yeah, I’m pissed. I’m hurting. But I’m also proud. Because I showed up. I didn’t quit. I learned more about myself today than I did in months of training. Now it’s time to rest, recover, and come back stronger. Because next time that gold is mine 😏

You have no idea what goes on inside the mind of someone when they train in combat sports. It’s not just physical. It’s mental. It’s brutal. It’s a war inside your head. I’ve been training jiujutsu for the last 5 months (6 days a week) and preparing for my first competition at NAGA. And most days I feel like I suck. Like I don’t know shit. It frustrates the fuck out of me, especially when I roll with heavier guys and they dominate me. And here’s the part most people won’t understand - it triggers bad memories. Memories I buried. When I was a kid, my science teacher tried to rape me. He was on top of me. I had to bury that shit deep inside just to survive. But now, sometimes when a guy is on top of me during jiujutsu, it all flashes back. And I hate it. Every cell in me wants to quit, to run. But I don’t. I keep going. Because that’s what combat sports force you to do: face your demons. It’s not just about fighting your opponent on the mat , it’s about fighting your own mind, your trauma, your weakness. And if you push through it, something changes inside you. So if you’re reading this - man or woman, it doesn’t matter. Go train in a combat sport. It will break you, test you, frustrate you… and then it will build you into someone you never thought you could become. P.S: Dont look at hair 😜 I look like an wild animal after rolling all 5 rounds with the guys at the gym 😏

Yesterday my whole portfolio - the one I built from $1,000 to $10,000 by doing perps trading got liquidated when the market flushed out 93% of crypto longs and wiped $100B. Events like this remind you of something most people don’t want to face: you’re never really in control. It’s always the 1% pulling strings, and they can use you and your money however they want. I’ve seen people breaking down on X after the flush. But I didn’t break down. When it happened, I went outside for a walk to clear my head. My husband was right there, reminding me: “It’s just money, you can make it back again. Learn the lesson.” Then, as a sign of support, he even opened another leverage position for me - not because he had to, but to show me that he believes in me rebuilding. That’s the kind of man I admire and love. Always steady. Always there when I fuck up. And yes I fucked up. I didn’t follow my own rules. I let FOMO run the show instead of discipline. I should’ve taken profit on my last trade when I saw it, or at least set a stop loss. Instead, I let the market punish me. Here’s the lesson: If you’re leverage trading, you better have rules and actually follow them. Otherwise, the market will humble you real quick. But to everyone who got liquidated yesterday- please don’t let this crush you. Even if you’ve lost it all, remember when one door slams shut, another one cracks open. But you won’t see it if you’re too busy crying over the one that closed. Take the lesson. Take the blame. Take control. That’s how you come back stronger.

When someone asks me what I’m grateful for… I tell them everything the universe has provided for me. I have a husband who protects me and makes me feel safe. I have a business that gives me freedom where I can do what I love and still run it in the background. I’m in the best shape of my life, training as many hours as I want, building both body and mind. Most people can’t say they “have it all.” Not because the universe denied them but because they aren’t aligned with what they say they want vs. what they actually do to get it. You can’t expect love if you’re not willing to nurture. You can’t expect freedom if you’re not willing to build. You can’t expect strength if you’re not willing to suffer for it. Alignment is the real gratitude. Because when your life reflects your choices you stop chasing and start living.

Ladies learn self defense. Thats the best advice I can give you right now. You should not have to fear going out or getting attacked by some man on the street if you know how to defend yourself .

Finally got a playstation in the US to play Off the Grid again 😁

Proof that men will always be men 😄🙄

He chose violence today